“Mr. Grey? You may come in and start getting ready for surgery. Just dress the gown and wait for the doctor. He will be here in five minutes to give you the anesthesia.”
“Thank you”.
She left Paul alone. He looked around. The room was white and cold. He took off his
clothes and put the gown on. Then he sat down on the hospital bed and searched
with his eyes for any object interesting enough to focus his mind on. But he
did not succeed.
His mind
flew back to Peter. He thought of him, the same way he has been doing in the past six months. Since they broke up, Paul can’t manage to get Peter off his
head. Actually, Peter was more present to his everyday life now than
when they were together. He was his company for breakfast and dinner. When Paul
was showering, Peter watched him. When Paul walked the dog, Peter followed him.
When Paul tried to work, Peter wanted to remind him of every
aspect of their relationship that went wrong. And even when Paul slept, all he
did was dream of Peter. Over and over again.
His friends
told him that he needed more patience. That it was normal. And that it would
soon be gone. But Paul knew that with him it was different. It was more than a regular heartbreak.
Paul
suspected that he was suffering of a physical condition, so he went to the hospital
some weeks before. The doctor, after listening carefully to all he had to say,
came up with a diagnosis. Paul had a brain tumor. More specifically, all the memories from Peter had
become a tumor inside Paul’s brain. And the tumor was located in the region where he storaged his immediate memory.
“So this is
why I can’t stop thinking about Peter, Doctor?”
“Well, don’t
tell anyone that I told you this, but… Precisely! All we need to do is to extract
this tumor from your brain and you will be back to your everyday life.”
“And then I
will be able to think of normal things? Like, complain about the bad quality of
Sunday TV? Or laugh of the stupid jokes my friends make in a bar table?” asked
Paul, hopefully.
“Indeed. I
am sure that, once we get rid of this tumor, you will be back to your life.
Peter-free.”
“So I need
to do this surgery, Doctor,” concluded Paul, melancholically.
“I am happy
you are so decided to be cured, young man. But don’t you want to know more about
your condition and how are we going to help you?” asked the doctor.
“Oh, sure.”
“You see,
when you and Peter broke up, you suffered intensely. Your body understood this
as a trauma and tried to get rid of all the pain and suffering the fastest it
could. So, as a defense mechanism, your brain gathered all the brain cells that
contained your memories of Peter and kept it hidden in a specific region. You
know, so it would be easier to handle them. It tried to isolate those
memories.”
“Really?”
asked Paul, “I’ve never heard of anything like this…”
“It is very
rare,” explained the doctor, “but more common than you would imagine. There are
several cases registered in the medical literature. I am sure even you
already saw this happening. Let me give you an example… Have you ever met a
couple that seemed perfectly in love, but after breaking up they just kept going on with
their lives? As if they never loved each other?” Paul nodded, thinking about how
Peter had asked someone else in marriage before meeting him, and that he was just
fine when they met. “In those cases, their brain did the same procedure, but
successfully. I mean, there was no tumor” clarified the doctor.
“Hmmm. And
why do you think I have a tumor?”
“We can’t
really tell, but… You seem to have a great amount of good memories… That is for
sure. And everybody knows that those memories use more space than the bad ones.
Another hypothesis would be that your brain understood that those were very
relevant memories to you. They are what common people would call “a great love”. But
what is specially interesting in your case is that your cells did not accept
the isolation and started to reproduce uncontrollably. They left their area and
multiplied incessantly. And they did it in the region where you keep your
recent memories. And this is why Peter is present in every single thought you
have.”
Paul stood
there quiet. It was a lot to digest.
“Are you
ok?” asked the doctor, a little worried.
“I am,” said
Paul coldly, “So I believe surgery would be my best option, right?”
“Yes. But
you must know that there are side effects, or better saying, consequences to
this surgery. Do you remember that all your Peter memories are gathered in this
tumor?”
“Yes…”
“This means
that all the memories you have of him will be in the tumor.”
“I see…
And?”
“The same tumor
we will get rid of,” explained patiently the doctor.
“I don’t
understand.”
“This means
that, when we remove the tumor, you will lose all your memories related to
Peter. The good and the bad ones. You will forget you ever met him.”
“I will not
remember I met him? Like if you could literally erase him from my mind?”
“Exactly.
We will remove him entirely from your life. But remember, all medical literature about this indicates that patients are ready
to go back to their normal lives after the procedure.”
Paul became even more serious.
“I need to
think, doctor. Can I call you back about this?”
“Take your
time, son.”
Paul went
home and tried to think about the decision. However,
Peter was in all of his thoughts. Anything he tried to do came back to Peter.
Every conversation with his friends came back to Peter. Every movie reminded
him of Peter.
Since he
could not think straight, he understood that the only viable option was to
undertake the surgery. It was not his choice. But the necessary condition to go
on with his life.
“May I come
in?” asked the nurse from the other side of the door.
Paul stood
still. Silently thinking of Peter.
She opened
the door and asked, “Are you ready, Mr. Grey?”
“Yes.”
The doctor
came in and started washing his hands. Paul laid down. As the nurse cleaned his
arm with alcohol, Paul looked outside. The day was cloudy and the sky was
white. Just like it was when he first met Peter three years ago. After the alcohol
came the needle. It hurt a little.
“Please, Mr.
Grey, count backwards from ten to one.”
“Ten, nine,
eight, seven, six…”
And he
finally rested.
6 comentários:
Would you like some edit/proofing feedback?
Oh yes! I mean, I usually write in Portuguese and then I translate it. And my English is ok, but I will always have errors... So edit/proofreading would be sweet! :D Thanks!
Can you write me your feedback by email? It is Gustavofsc@gmail.com
Thanks!!!
Hi. I loved the story.
Thank you Ankur! :)
hey, like (y)
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